Unfinished Business

One year and one day old. The postmark on the large manila envelope is Jan 23, 2007. It is still taped shut. There is a small tear alongside the heavy envelope. It sat out for quite a while. I really had the best intentions of opening it. True, I already knew what was in the envelope, but still, it’s beyond me as to why I have not torn into it already, but the metal clasp is untouched. I notice just now how well my cousin tapes. We are further removed! LOL!

The package represents a great deal of Unfinished Business for me. This is a side of my family that I know so little about. While Dad had quite a few stories to share, they were not of the military service members in our family. I want to know more about them and I think it would be cool if I knew them somewhat when I “get up there.” My Dad’s sister, his only sibling, died in her fifties,when I was first pregnant with Aaron, and PaPa, my paternal grandfather, died at age 62. Both suffered from heart problems and PaPa also had emphysema.

I’ve been in touch with this side of my family to a small degree since Dad became so ill, however, due to age and distance, it is doubtful that I will meet them in person again and I was six months old the last time I was around many of them. That would have been the Grigsby Family Reunion of 1955.

Just quickly I want to add that I don’t feel real bad even if I don’t feel real good, you know? For many of you, this “Unfinished Business” may seem a little weird; then again, I’ve never claimed to be exactly normal! I am interested in wrapping up little details of my life—no matter if I’m here three months or three years. None of us know the day, but at least I know it’s time to begin to get my affairs in order. When I write to you this way, it is without fear or depression. Actually, in a strange way, it is quite exciting. So, maybe I’ll be here five more years, well then, let’s keep it interesting and eventful!

Undoubtedly, some of you will be interested and many others may not, but there is much in the way of not only memories I want to capture on this blog, but also history, and most especially our family’s military history, so either just bear with me or use that tiny arrow back button to take you away, but for this post, it’s about the package.

The package I am referring to is a large record of birth and death certificates of the paternal side of my family. These, along with papers I should have already added to them trace my ancestry back to prove that I am eligible for DAR or Daughters of the American Revolution. While it is believed the Grigsby side of my paternal side had a patriot in the American Revolution that has not yet been proven, however one on my grandmother’s side has been proven. According to my cousin (who is very passionate in her genealogy studies) “It is much much more difficult for women of southern ancestry, such as ourselves, to prove a line to a Revolutionary Patriot than for women of northern ancestry. For some reason the Redcoats were more brutal and destructive in the south than in the north. Perhaps because there were more Tories in the south.”

Really interesting (from a recent e-mail) is where she writes: "This is all Grigsby family history. This is not the line of our family that has a proven Patriot. Virginia, who is probably the living authority on our line of the Grigsby family, thinks that Solomon Grigsby, to whom I will refer, was the grandson of the patriot James Grigsby. She has researched for over thirty years trying to prove this and thus far has been unable to do so.

Solomon Grigsby was born in Edgefield County, SC in 1801. He married Margaret ? in 1820 probably. They had their first child in 1821. They had three children in SC. Then they moved to Alabama where their son, Ira, was born in 1828. He is your GGGgrandfather. I believe another child was born in Alabama. (I am trying to remember these dates from memory.) I am too lazy to walk into the den and get out my files. But this is just for a historical time line to get you up to the time of Solomon's sons' military service.)

Then they moved just across the state line into Mississippi where three (I think) more children were born. Then in 1841 they moved to Texas. Solomon, your GGGGgrandfather was Justice of the Peace in Rusk County. Your GGGgrandfather Ira was 14 at the time. In 1845 he signed up for the War with Mexico. He was injured just a few months later (three, I think) at Monterrey. He was sent home. He had a crippled right arm the remainder of his life. I imagine he had a very hard life because he was a farmer. It would be difficult to farm with a crippled arm. It was after he returned home that he married your GGGgrandmother.

Approximately 15 years later The War Between the States began. Our Ira was unable to participate because of his crippled arm. Three of his brothers did. From this point on is what Daddy told me. Then, precious Virginia verified everything for me with Civil War Documents. Two of Solomon's sons joined the Confederate forces. My memory of their names is just blank. One was George Washington Grigsby and one was?

The third brother joined the Union Army. His name was Mark Grigsby.

Mark signed up with the Union Army in New Orleans in the summer. He was captured just a month or so later back in Texas in July, I believe. He was imprisoned near Austin in a Confederate prison named Hempstead. I believe he died in September. I have a copy of his death certificate. The cause of death was maltreatment and starvation. That was just a horrible horrible time in our nation's history. Daddy had always told me about that. I just could not believe it was true, but it was.

I do not know why your GGGGgrandfather Solomon left SC. The wills and other things I have show the family to be financially well off. There is no mention of Solomon in any of the documents. Virginia does not think he had done anything bad. But remember, so many southern courthouses were burned during the Revolutionary War and then about 85 years later during The War Between the States. General Sherman saw to that. So, much Southern history has been burned up.

It is much much more difficult for women of southern ancestry, such as ourselves, to prove a line to a Revolutionary Patriot than for women of northern ancestry. For some reason the Redcoats were more brutal and destructive in the south than in the north. Perhaps because there were more Tories in the south."

She later writes (after I apologize for taking so long to get to it:

I know you must be the most precious person! I also think you are probably headstrong. I am. Actually, people sometimes think that is a bad thing. I don't. I am telling you we would not be living as citizens of the United States if our ancestors had not been headstrong.

The ancestors that you and I share were from North and South Carolina, an area heavily populated with Tories. To be a Revolutionary was a dangerous decision. Their identities were revealed to the British forces by the Tories. You probably know the following from American history - When the citizen-soldiers, who in many cases were armed only with pitchforks, would prepare to meet the Redcoats out in the field, they would wait hiding in the trees or crops. They could hear the Redcoats approaching and then the time everyone dreaded - the marching stopped and they would hear the sound of the eleven inch knives being strapped onto the Redcoats' rifles. They knew what the Redcoats intended to do with those knives. One book I read said that not even a chicken was left alive when the Redcoats left the farms, and certainly no humans.

So, little cousin, your headstrong determination has been handed down to you from generation to generation. Let me hear from you through group emails when you have nothing else to do. Also, do not even think about the genealogy things I sent to you. The lack of a membership certificate to hang on the wall does not keep you from being descended from Patriots. You are also the mother of a Patriot of the modern times!

Lovingly,
Paula
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I’ll share more as I open, flip and read! Take care and
Semper Fi,
De’on