Showing posts with label funnies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funnies. Show all posts
Friday, February 8, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Grinding out the 50's, and speaking of senior moments, that 7th link should be the 11th and now we have 12-15.
12. AARP - Official Site www.AARP.org Ages 50+ Save on Travel, Health, Home & More. $12.50/year. Join Now!
13. Cell Phones for Seniors
14. Games Related Fun. Play more free games in Spanish on AARP Segunda Juventud Online >> · Keep your mind sharp with AARP's series of puzzle books....
15. Dr. Ruth Talks About Sex After 50
***
A joke from Ray!.....
A Tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of Seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old Lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, "Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?”
"We can’t chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.
The puzzled Driver asks,
“Why do you buy them then?"
The Old lady replied,
"We just love the chocolate around them."
13. Cell Phones for Seniors
14. Games Related Fun. Play more free games in Spanish on AARP Segunda Juventud Online >> · Keep your mind sharp with AARP's series of puzzle books....
15. Dr. Ruth Talks About Sex After 50
***
A joke from Ray!.....
A Tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of Seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old Lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, "Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?”
"We can’t chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.
The puzzled Driver asks,
“Why do you buy them then?"
The Old lady replied,
"We just love the chocolate around them."
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Tighten Up, Healthy Hillary! Squeeze those glutes!
If you haven't seen it yet, you've got to and I don't know another way to get it up, so I am up for some technical advice here!
Hillary farts during debate captured live on CNN. You can also view it on our new little handy-dandy video clip called "Stinkies" right below the announcements.
Of course, this is a very natural body function. It could happen to any of us, but we're not running for President. :)
And thanks Ray for turning us on to this!
Hillary farts during debate captured live on CNN. You can also view it on our new little handy-dandy video clip called "Stinkies" right below the announcements.
Of course, this is a very natural body function. It could happen to any of us, but we're not running for President. :)
And thanks Ray for turning us on to this!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Don't tell PETA
This chicken was hanging around our house for a few days but I guess I scared it away forever when I started trying to take its picture. It had been eating sunflower seeds from our feeders and had even been up our porch in the chairs.
The small Evergreen you see to the side is a live tree we had for Christmas 2004. It’s planted in Aaron’s memory; we call it our Aaron Tree, and the now thriving tree has survived, despite our ignorance in caring for it for a while. We nearly lost it a couple of times. One time I called the Extension Agent and he came and offered some advice but I could tell he had little hope for it.
Greg and I thoroughly enjoyed our 14th anniversary and got quite a bit done for Christmas. It comes at my husband fast. Our anniversary is Dec. 14th, then Christmas, New Years, Lisa’s BD and my birthday, all within a 2 payday period! Poor Greg!
I’ve been working on Christmas cards and wrapping stocking items in tissue paper. Greg goes all out, measures, uses a razor blade to cut it exactly and then puts each little measured piece of tape in place. He puts a bow and actually hollered at Cady over her help! Cady is Greg’s baby and she was horrified. He made up to her and finished his wrapping, as intense as ever.
I go the other way. I’m wrapping in tissue paper to protect from peeky eyes, but it goes into a stocking, a bag, or sometimes I can talk Greg into wrapping a box for me. Often he rescues the package or the ink cartridge or the roll of storage tape I have myself wrapped in from my hands and re-fixes what I’ve just fixed.
One year I did wrap presents in an obsessive-compulsive manner. Aaron’s first Christmas in Panama (my first was the invasion) I wrapped each present elaborately, uniquely and spent probably an hour on each gift (sometimes being an only child is sweet!) adding candy canes or tiny stockings, scissor-curled ribbon, each tag was either from Dad or Mom or Santa or the North Pole. He did not have one present that was dressed as any other. It took a few times, but after various trials at tearing little holes into the back of the packages, I caught on. The lad was trying his best to see any part of the present he could. I’ve not spent a great deal of time wrapping since then! LOL! It never changed. He didn’t even hide it that well that he was looking high and low. That was the same year I made all kinds of food. Pies: mincemeat, pumpkin, and some other kind I can’t think of right now. We cooked the turkey and had all the trimmings and invited over some friends, SFC Washington and his family. Daniel was the name of their son and he was Aaron’s age. It was a good Christmas but I never got used to Christmas in Panama in the sweltering heat. It seemed false. Probably because I missed my extended family so much. Be sure to pray for our troops who are far from family and of course, their families too.
I know everyone is busy right now. Semper Fi Mom’s 2nd son who is stationed in North Carolina is home in Lubbock, Kayla is with her Aunt Karen in Brownfield and Lisa and Roy are out shopping. Ray is busy mailing packages from Okinawa and I’m about to get back to the tissue paper thing, so stay safe out there!
Semper Fi,
De’on
The small Evergreen you see to the side is a live tree we had for Christmas 2004. It’s planted in Aaron’s memory; we call it our Aaron Tree, and the now thriving tree has survived, despite our ignorance in caring for it for a while. We nearly lost it a couple of times. One time I called the Extension Agent and he came and offered some advice but I could tell he had little hope for it.
Greg and I thoroughly enjoyed our 14th anniversary and got quite a bit done for Christmas. It comes at my husband fast. Our anniversary is Dec. 14th, then Christmas, New Years, Lisa’s BD and my birthday, all within a 2 payday period! Poor Greg!
I’ve been working on Christmas cards and wrapping stocking items in tissue paper. Greg goes all out, measures, uses a razor blade to cut it exactly and then puts each little measured piece of tape in place. He puts a bow and actually hollered at Cady over her help! Cady is Greg’s baby and she was horrified. He made up to her and finished his wrapping, as intense as ever.
I go the other way. I’m wrapping in tissue paper to protect from peeky eyes, but it goes into a stocking, a bag, or sometimes I can talk Greg into wrapping a box for me. Often he rescues the package or the ink cartridge or the roll of storage tape I have myself wrapped in from my hands and re-fixes what I’ve just fixed.
One year I did wrap presents in an obsessive-compulsive manner. Aaron’s first Christmas in Panama (my first was the invasion) I wrapped each present elaborately, uniquely and spent probably an hour on each gift (sometimes being an only child is sweet!) adding candy canes or tiny stockings, scissor-curled ribbon, each tag was either from Dad or Mom or Santa or the North Pole. He did not have one present that was dressed as any other. It took a few times, but after various trials at tearing little holes into the back of the packages, I caught on. The lad was trying his best to see any part of the present he could. I’ve not spent a great deal of time wrapping since then! LOL! It never changed. He didn’t even hide it that well that he was looking high and low. That was the same year I made all kinds of food. Pies: mincemeat, pumpkin, and some other kind I can’t think of right now. We cooked the turkey and had all the trimmings and invited over some friends, SFC Washington and his family. Daniel was the name of their son and he was Aaron’s age. It was a good Christmas but I never got used to Christmas in Panama in the sweltering heat. It seemed false. Probably because I missed my extended family so much. Be sure to pray for our troops who are far from family and of course, their families too.
I know everyone is busy right now. Semper Fi Mom’s 2nd son who is stationed in North Carolina is home in Lubbock, Kayla is with her Aunt Karen in Brownfield and Lisa and Roy are out shopping. Ray is busy mailing packages from Okinawa and I’m about to get back to the tissue paper thing, so stay safe out there!
Semper Fi,
De’on
Friday, December 14, 2007
Happy Anniversary, Greg!!!
and thank you for14 years of institutionalized wedded bliss!!!
Just joking!
I love you with all I got!
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Friday, December 7, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Saturday, December 1, 2007
To Cowboy fans (and I know a few) and especially for Dad....
John Madden was in Green Bay to announce a football game one weekend when he noticed a special telephone near the Packers' bench. He asked QB Favre what it was used for and was told it was a hotline to God. John asked if he could use it. Favre replied, 'Sure, but it will cost you $200.'
John scratched his head, then thought, what the heck, I could use some help picking games. He pulled out his wallet and paid $200. John's picks were perfect that week.
The next week, John was in Indianapolis when he noticed that same kind of phone on the Colts bench. He asked what the telephone was for and Manning told him, 'It's a hotline to God if you want to use it, it will cost you $500.' Recalling the previous week, John pulled out his wallet and made the call. John's picks were perfect again that week.
Last weekend, John was in Dallas, when he noticed the same kind of telephone by the Dallas' bench. He asked Tony Romo, 'Is that the hotline to God?' Tony said, 'Yes, and if you want to use it, it will cost you 50 cents.' John looked incredulously at Romo and said, 'Wait a second, I just paid $200 in Green Bay and $500 in Indianapolis to use the same phone to God! Why do the Cowboys only charge 50 cents?
Tony replied, 'Because in Dallas, it's a local call... Welcome to God's Country.'................. GOOOO COWBOYSSSSSSS!!!!!
(Sorry, Greg!! And of course, I am for the Cowboys only up until the Colts!)
John scratched his head, then thought, what the heck, I could use some help picking games. He pulled out his wallet and paid $200. John's picks were perfect that week.
The next week, John was in Indianapolis when he noticed that same kind of phone on the Colts bench. He asked what the telephone was for and Manning told him, 'It's a hotline to God if you want to use it, it will cost you $500.' Recalling the previous week, John pulled out his wallet and made the call. John's picks were perfect again that week.
Last weekend, John was in Dallas, when he noticed the same kind of telephone by the Dallas' bench. He asked Tony Romo, 'Is that the hotline to God?' Tony said, 'Yes, and if you want to use it, it will cost you 50 cents.' John looked incredulously at Romo and said, 'Wait a second, I just paid $200 in Green Bay and $500 in Indianapolis to use the same phone to God! Why do the Cowboys only charge 50 cents?
Tony replied, 'Because in Dallas, it's a local call... Welcome to God's Country.'................. GOOOO COWBOYSSSSSSS!!!!!
(Sorry, Greg!! And of course, I am for the Cowboys only up until the Colts!)
Friday, November 30, 2007
More Yuletide Cheer
This photo was taken several months ago. Picture steel walls and steel door in place. Picture Mom, Jerry, and kitty, Dolly (? is Dolly locked inside too, Mom? Oh, that's right, you can't read this!)
To the rest of our readers then:
6:05 PM: Greg just called to say he’d be a little late. It seems Mom and Jerry are locked inside the storage room Jerry is building out in their backyard! Oh, and you better know that thing is solid. Only God could break through, but they’re counting on my husband to undo the door knob that has them undone!!
LMAO! Sorry, Mom… this is just too good.
Anyway, fortunately they have their cell phone and called Greg to come by and see if he can get their door open, before they kill each other!!
Oh, goodness. It’s good to laugh (from many blocks away! ;)
LMAO! Sorry, Mom… this is just too good.
Anyway, fortunately they have their cell phone and called Greg to come by and see if he can get their door open, before they kill each other!!
Oh, goodness. It’s good to laugh (from many blocks away! ;)
7:51 PM: Update: Greg is home, Jerry and Mom are free, Mom wanted to call Greg, Jerry did not (a man thing you know), Mom won out and no, Dolly was not locked in with them. Plus our reward is a homemade pecan pie! Thanks, Jerry.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Cat Herding and the Christmas Tree
The ornaments you see here in the evergreen basket, right next to worn out and weary Cady right here
actually
belong here, on the bottom third of our tree, which is mostly empty now as you can see. Many of the ornaments have been swept up.
Like most darlings, this one has not turned out quite as I'd hoped.
Merry Christmas!
The problem with Cat Herding, Cat Whispering, Cat Training...
whatever... the problem with taming a cat is ...
it can't be done.
Monday, November 12, 2007
What is a Hill-Billy?
Thanks, Ray!
No, thank you, Hill!
Well, right back at ya, Bill!
Well, allrighty then.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
gUnZ uP has a rating!
I picked up the link to have our site rated while I was over at LUBBOCK MARINE PARENTS. Run over there and check out the recent posts. They've got some cool things going on and listen to the Marine Answering Machine while you're over there! Neat.
And if you're under 17. bye-bye. the gunz word is a little harsh I think.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Holiday Travel-toons (I misspelled it last time, huh?) Did any of the students catch that?
Though these are cartoons, the gas prices are sure to make a few parapgraphs in the history of the War on Terror.
Maybe we should still laugh a little while we can!
Marine Joke
Thanks, Diane!
Sacramento, CA., May 17, 2007
Yet another unselfish act of heroism performed by a man wearing the Eagle, Globe and Anchor:
An Air Force Captain narrowly escaped serious injury recently when he decided to try horseback riding, even though he had no lessons or prior experience. He mounted the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately sprang into action. As it galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the Captain began to slip from the saddle. In terror, he grabbed for the horse's mane, but could not get a firm grip. He tried to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he began to slide down the side of the horse anyway!
The horse galloped along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.Finally, losing his frail grip, the Captain attempted to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot became entangled in the stirrup, and he was now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head struck against the ground over and over and over.
As his head was being battered against the ground and he was mere moments away from unconsciousness, to his great fortune a Marine Sergeant shopping at Wal-Mart saw him and quickly unplugged the horse.
Sacramento, CA., May 17, 2007
Yet another unselfish act of heroism performed by a man wearing the Eagle, Globe and Anchor:
An Air Force Captain narrowly escaped serious injury recently when he decided to try horseback riding, even though he had no lessons or prior experience. He mounted the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately sprang into action. As it galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the Captain began to slip from the saddle. In terror, he grabbed for the horse's mane, but could not get a firm grip. He tried to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he began to slide down the side of the horse anyway!
The horse galloped along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.Finally, losing his frail grip, the Captain attempted to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot became entangled in the stirrup, and he was now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head struck against the ground over and over and over.
As his head was being battered against the ground and he was mere moments away from unconsciousness, to his great fortune a Marine Sergeant shopping at Wal-Mart saw him and quickly unplugged the horse.
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