

My dear friend and mentor, Professor Irwin Corey (pictured above giving a lecture at Yale), obtained an exclusive interview for gUnZ uP with Hillary Rodham Clinton. Here is what he learned about her New Year’s Resolutions for 2008. ---- Ray in Okinawa ----
Hillary Rodham Clinton’s New Year’s Resolutions for 2008:
1. I solemnly swear to spend less time and money hiring private detectives to follow and photograph Bill. (About this resolution Hillary added, “I will have a country to run, and will have no more time for this frivolity.”)
2. If elected to the Presidency, I promise not to smoke pot or hashish or snort cocaine in the White House.
3. If elected to the Presidency, I promise not to seduce any interns, unless they are age-appropriate (age 18- 27), and it is a “consensual seduction.”
4. I promise to let Bill sleep in the Presidential Suite, IF he leaves his other sexual partners on the Presidential couch.
5. I promise never to tell a lie to the American public, unless it is for their own good, or the good of the country, or the good of the world, or the good of NATO, or the good of the United Nations, etc., etc., etc.
6. If caught in a lie, I promise to blame “the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.”
7. In the event of a terrorist attack with weapons of mass destruction on our country, I will ask Bill what to do. If he is not sure, I will consult the astrologer that has informed and supported my decisions for the last 35 years.
8. When it comes to Supreme Court appointments, I shall remember and honor these Acronyms:
PROC – Pro choice
PROG – Pro Gay
MOP – Multiculturalism on Pedestal
RAR – Republicans are Retards
PROC – Pro choice
PROG – Pro Gay
MOP – Multiculturalism on Pedestal
RAR – Republicans are Retards
9. I will always remember that the enemy of your friend can also be your friend, if that “enemy” can offer you more than your friend.
10. And last, I shall remember that I carry the Clinton legacy: Cover at all costs any unpleasant truths, in order to enhance my image and continue to chart my course in history. I will be great and important and a winner for the Ages! Nothing can or will stand in my way.
HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON --- December 30, 2007
2 comments:
You're a riot. Now I need you to come up with some for me! ;)
I must point out that my esteemed colleague and mentor, Professor Irwin Corey, has caught the lying Hillary in yet another lie ---- even in her "New Year's Resolutions for 2008" statement!
Hillary won't take office until January 2009, if ever. So her so-called New Year's Resolutions for 2008 are irrelevant!
Liar, liar, pants on fire!
Rayboysan
Post a Comment